10 Days To A
Healthier, Leaner, Detoxified Body: Master Cleanse Journal #1
It all started when I was caring for my
friend, Julie, in Los Angeles after a few cosmetic procedures of hers. Among her
collection of books on Cosmetic Surgery she had a small, yellow-covered, 50 page
booklet called "The
Master Cleanse" by Stanley Burroughs. She suggested that I read it and
that it may help my kidneys (which I have trouble with off and on) and get rid
of a case of gout I had mysteriously developed. I have
been hospitalized before because of my kidneys and, in fact, almost died. I had
actually already begun thumbing through the book while she slept/healed. After she told me that she went
through this cleanse a few times and swore by it -- I thought
I'd give the book a fair shot (to read it, that is).
I began reading and I couldn't put it down.
Some of what Mr. Burroughs said is so true. Although I sometimes feel that a few
of his beliefs are somewhat extreme -- I have considered going vegetarian or at
least partial ovo-lacto. However, I just love eggs and cheese and a diet
high in carbs really makes me gain weight. What
can I do??
Disclaimer & A Word of Caution: This is a cleanse, it is NOT to lose weight,
although I did lose weight during the cleanse. If you want to lose weight
FAST and not count calories or watch your portions try food combining. I
personally swear by Somersizing. I lost 10 lb. in the first 2 and 1/2
weeks of Somersizing by eating more food than I ever have in my life.
A good book to pick up is Get Skinny on
Fabulous Food and try these links:
As far as the cleanse, although this worked for me, I am not saying it will work for
you or should be construed as any type of medical advice or treatment
instructions. If you start any type of cleanse or treatment you should always
ask your primary care physician -- although he may tell you not
to do it.
Well here is my journal and I hope that it
will help you if you choose to go through with it. I am very glad that I did
even though as I write this I am only on my 4th day! I have increased energy, I
have lost a lot of mass, I feel better in general and my kidneys are working
perfectly! My fingers are also healed, I have no pain and my sores from
where the crystalline needles of uric acid poked "needles" through my knuckles
The below recipe make 60 oz of "lemonade", enough for 6 to 10 oz
glasses. Although your requirements may be different than mine. Please read the
book to determine your needs. 60 oz is sufficient for a reduction
60 oz water per day (or 10 oz per glass) = 0 calories
12 tablespoons Organic Grade B Maple Syrup (or 2 tbsp. per glass) = 600 calories
12 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (or 2 tbsp. per glass) = 43.75 calories
a little over half a teaspoon of cayenne pepper (or 1/10 tsp. per glass),
approximately 2.5 eyedroppers full of Tincture of Cayenne; or
to taste = 0 calories
(2) 8 oz cup Smooth Move Tea = 0 calories
Total Calories: 643.75 calories per day
As instructed, I drank my Smooth Move (Senna
leaf) laxative tea tonight and am getting ready for bed. I am actually quite
excited about starting the Master Cleanse tomorrow.
04/17/01 - Day 1 Increased Edema (water retention) Loss
Oh my goodness. well, I can say one thing for sure
Senna leaf tea works better than any over the counter medicinal laxative on the
market. I was awoken by intestinal pains. If you need relief or whatever you
want to call it -- buy this. And don't leave the house until you take care of
business. You will regret it.
I did the Saline Wash -- okay, THAT was unpleasant!
involved drinking 32 oz of warm spring water with 2 tsp. of sea salt. I only made
it to 16 oz. After living off of only lemonade the saline wash actually reminded me of chicken soup
without the chicken flavor.
I made the Lemonade and I will tell you now,
there is NOT 4 tbsp. of lemon juice in the average lemon! I think it took
9 to 10
lemons to make 24 tbsp. of lemon juice if you squeeze them by hand. Marc was going to do this with me and he
couldn't even stomach the saline wash or laxative tea much less the lemonade --
he got weak because he didn't drink the lemonade and had to quit after 10 hours.
Which he commenced by eating a Salisbury steak TV dinner and some Starburst
candies. The epitome of health.
I only drank three 16 oz glasses (48 oz) of lemonade today
-- I couldn't stomach anymore because the cayenne was HOT (I *guessed* for the
amount -- oops.)! That and you must
remember I do not drink fluid much at all. I did drink my laxative tea again and
am going to bed. I must say I had a LOT of energy today compared to normal.
04/18/01 - Day 2
I woke up with intestinal pains again! NO saline wash OR
laxative tea this morning. I need to back off of the laxatives. I went
back to bed because it was 7 am and I felt bad (my tummy). Woke up later and had
my lemonade. I had five 16 oz glasses (80 oz, 20 over the amount recommended if
I want to reduce, but it tasted good) today and a cup of Mint Medley Tea
as a treat. Yum. Not exactly a Reese's huh? I am debating about drinking the laxative tea
tonight. Should I?
I also have a slight sore throat. I hope I am not getting
sick I haven't been sick in almost 3
years!! Well now would be the time to develop a cold, if I am going to. If my
body has been storing up all my *sickness* then, so be it. I was warned of this
and well, it looks like I may be coming down with something.
Night: I am having hunger pangs. Although I am not
actually hungry, my stomach knows something is up by now and I am paying for it.
I feel great though, other than that. I mean no dizziness, no sickness other
than how I am supposed to get "sick" (upset stomach). If I can
get past the next 2 days regarding hunger pangs I will be alright. I also keep
thinking about foods I know I don't like, i.e. Mac 'n Cheese, McDonald's, Pork
Burritos (okay I like that last one, hehehe), etc. I mean I am not hungry, per
se, I keep thinking about the way these things taste and I believe it is very
Before Bed: I drank the tea. Ugh.
is moving like crazy right now and I just KNOW I am gonna hate myself in the
morning - or in the middle of the night. If I even make it to the middle of the
night, now that I think about it.
04/19/01 - Day 3
WOW! I didn't make it through the night and I got back up
at 6:30 am. I know this is more than you ever wanted to know and I am sure you
do not need this mental image. But beware of this part of the diet. In
other words if you need to leave the house do not take the saline wash or
laxative tea. You will regret it.
I still have my sore throat but it is only when I swallow.
Not too bad but no different. Not worse, not better. I don't have a fever.
I keep thinking of Sushi and Thai food. I am going to chow
down on a big bowl of seaweed salad with rice vinegar and some eel rolls or even
some Pad Thai when I get off this cleanse. Food!! I just miss the taste.
I didn't drink my tea tonight -- I can't keep having those
stomach cramps every night and morning, plus the book said if I get sick to stop
the tea or the saline washes. I feel awesome though!! And I am losing my fat!!
WOO HOO!!!! I am not weak at all and still have more energy than I have ever had
in my life. I feel balanced, too. I made some more lemonade today. It takes 9 lemons to
make 27 tbsp of lemon juice if you use a lemon juicer (you need this much for 2
people, 3 tbsp extra). Also, I measured more carefully this time but did
not strain the lemonade through a cheesecloth so I had a lot more cayenne
floating around in my glass today. *It is best not to strain it so you will have
pulp but I just had to get rid of the excess cayenne. This cleanse rocks!
p.s. This is gross and if you don't want to think
differently of me from now on, then don't read the next part...
I experienced what "mucus"
is last night. All it is is, well -- mucus. Clear, slimy and only about a
teaspoon of it. Nothing special. I expected what you see on those horror
websites with "mucoid plaque" photos that look like great big nasty
slugs and parasites. I theorize it is basically lubrication for your entire
digestive tract. From your mouth to the end of the line. It looks and has the
consistency of saliva. I mean what else are you going to pass if you aren't eating???
I did not see anything that looked even remotely like the digestive tract
sloughing off. Just thick saliva.
I am losing FAT!!! I am losing it all
04/20/01 - Day 4
I didn't drink my tea last night but I went ahead and drank it this morning
and decided a little while after to do the saline wash. I only drank a very
slight amount of the saline (sea salt/spring water) and I was miserable for
about an hour after. But all is well, again -- thank goodness.
My gland is swollen on my right side of my throat but no
more sore throat! Yippee!! I know my body and my gland on my right side winds up
absorbing things somehow and fighting it off within a few days. BUT!
developed another pain of sorts...
My tongue is hurting, I don't know why and all my
little vessels are beet red under my tongue. What is going on?? I can't stick my
tongue out of my mouth all the way. I must say I do have that coating going on but I had the same thing when I used to drink
Amaretto Sours when I was 18 (New Orleans -- 18 to drink alcohol back
then). Same type of
sweet sour, drink and I had the EXACT same type of coating. I hope my
barbell in my tongue doesn't get pushed out!! or my breast or lip implants!!
What if this cleanse pushes foreign bodies "OUT??"
I barely drank my quota of my lemonade
yesterday so after the saline wash scenario this morning I felt rather weak and
icky. I immediately had some of my lemonade and all is right with the
world! I just can't get over how well I feel for not having eaten any actual
food in 4 days. I must admit I keep thinking about food though. Marc actually
had a El Belazo burrito today and even though he washed out his mouth with
Listerine and washed his hands I could smell it on his hands an hour later when
he got close to me. He went to touch my face and I caught a whiff! I told him,
"ACK!! You had a burrito!! H ow could you do this to me!!" Poor guy.
I'll bet he can't wait until I get to have food again. Then he can stop having
to eat in the kitchen, outside or in the car.
Night - Marc cooked a pizza in the house. I am
planning his murder right now -- don't tell anyone. Although, I am sure I will get
off because it is justifiable
homicide. I sat there across the house, salivating like Pavlov's dog.
knows that he is never allowed to cook a pizza in this house, ever again, if I
am on the cleanse.
Strangely my sense of smell is even BETTER.
It was very neat
beforehand, a cool party trick, even. But now it is annoying. I can
differentiate if my neighbor is cooking Rice-a-Roni or macaroni and cheese. Marc
even smells funny to me -- like sinitus or mucous. Two of his friends came over
(on separate occasions) and they both smoke. I almost gagged. I hope they don't
Looking skinny, but craving the taste of real food.
04/21/01 - Day 5
Didn't drink the tea last night, I drank it when I got up -- no dice yet.
think I am going to have a saline wash tomorrow. My tongue had pus in the hole
where my barbell is. This is NOT good. I hope it is because of the acidity of
the lemons that is irritating my tongue instead of the actual cleanse trying to push out my piercing.
I have had this piercing for 6 years, it is
not a new piercing. All I can think of are my breast and lip
implants being rejected or causing Capsular Contracture. Can you imagine???
will have to personally find Stanley Burroughs and kick him in the
My thighs are leaner and my saddle bags are almost
gone -- HA!! Now I don't need lipo!! But let's see how much comes
back when I quit the cleanse. Supposedly you gain 1/2 of your weight back.
unfortunately did not weigh myself because I don't have a scale -- nor will
I buy one. Nor did I take pics, because I am embarrassed of my lower body.
way in hell was I going to show you guys that unless I had liposuction -
for research and educational purposes. But I am sure I will do this cleanse again
and then I promise I will take pics and weigh myself next time.
what matters is what I feel inside though and how happy I am with my results so
far. 5 more days to go, unless I go for 12-14 days. Hopefully my piercing will
By the way, no more swollen or sore gland!!
5 - Damn that tea. BUT Just when you think you are completely empty, you're
not. It's yet another one of those don't read this if you don't want to think
differently of me...
As you know, I drank the Smooth Move senna leaf tea this
morning in lieu of last night and I tell you what, although it does not work
as fast as the saline wash, it works more thoroughly for what it is
recommended for. Although, this does not come without pain. I guess anything
that is compacted is becoming UN-compacted. It's not a pretty site, but jeeez
I feel better after. Other people I know are starting "The Master
Cleanse" and if I could just tell them one thing it would be: Stick
My skin, along with the Obagi Program, is better, I
don't get headaches, I don't really have muscle or backaches anymore -- and I have a
BAD back, my hormone-induced hyperpigmentations are going away completely and
I have no trouble at all staying concentrated or even sleeping. It's like I'm
balanced somehow. Or maybe I am just an easily-influenced psycho.
And if I am
that, then so be it, because I am an easily-influenced psycho WITH SMALLER THIGHS
& BUTT!!! WOO HOO!
I have been using the Listerine in my mouth but being VERY
careful not to accidentally swallow any of it and it looks as though the tongue problem
is related to a little tag of skin NEXT to the barbell. It looks like an
irritated taste bud. We will see as time goes
Night: Nothing new, going to bed.
04/22/01 - Day 6 -
Increased Toxin & Fat Loss Begins
Woke up fine. Didn't drink THE TEA last night so I had it for breakfast.
I had saline
too. I saw Marc eating a burrito and I could have cared less. However as my
neighbor was grilling steaks next door, I was tempted to leap over the fence and
steal his steaks when he wasn't looking. But I kept my composure. He deserved
it though because he has been doing construction all weekend starting at 8 am!
My tongue is still the same, my body weight is dropping
off although since I found out it was supposedly just water weight dropping the
first half of the treatment I was upset.
I want to be a tad bit thinner than I
am right as I type this. It's just my thighs. I guess if I'd get out of this chair
and do something about it I could change that, huh?
I am tired. Going to bed, it's almost 4 am.
04/23/01 - Day 7
Well I was tired this morning. A stupid fire truck with its siren
blaring came down our street and
scared the heck out of me. I had to make more juice today and I actually crave
it, now. I must also say, when I make fresh juice it tastes so much better than
when I make 2 to 3 days worth. Unfortunately, I don't feel so well today.
sniffling and feel like my eyes burn. I am also a little bloated but I am
starting my cycle in a day or two so this is probably normal. But
for you women: I started barely spotting the last few days and I NEVER do that.
It HAS to be related.
Nothing to report although I am being bad and not
washing my digestive tract as much as I should be. I just find it
painful and I WILL do it today. Besides salt water isn't exactly gourmet!
I can see food now and not care at all.
I am just
not hungry for food. I have 3 more days and then I can go to broth. it will be a
nice change but it doesn't seem appealing -- regular tasting food, ya know? and
people smell sick to me now. They smell funny like they are filled
with snot. Everyone is like this. It makes me sick. I don't know if I have gone
mad or if I can smell the difference when a person eats fatty foods and junk.
want to go see my friend, Julie, who gave me this cleanse because she is a very
clean and healthy type of person. I am sure she doesn't stink. It's
like people smell "diseased" I would probably freak out if I were in a
convalescent home. Because I am sensitive to that smell to begin with.
that sounds harsh but you have to remember I have differentiate between hundreds
of smells accurately if in practice. It is really annoying to be able to tell
when and what my neighbor is cooking or guessing how many different perfumes I
smell in a room.
Anyway... I am doing well so far today :)
Evening: I hate that tea. I HATE IT!
It gives me
the worst cramps, I don't get cramps or other complaints unless I drink it and
it stains my coffee cups and teeth. By the way my coated tongue is
disgusting!!! It is getting increasingly worse. I am going to have to take
a photo of it to show you but you'll probably gag. Hey how do you think I feel?
I can smell food or see Marc eat and I do not care at all.
Very strange you think I'd be attacking him at night. Thank goodness I don't
sleep walk anymore. What if I actually ATE something while sleeping.
Could it put me into the
hospital? But I also want to say that I sleep MUCH better now. I
just feel "balanced." You know?
04/24/01 - Day 8
This morning was rough. I had to pull an all-nighter to correct some broken
links and internal errors on the site and also to publish some of my newer
websites and get the YTF! newsletter out. I didn't go to bed until about 8:30 am
and I'll tell you what. Staying up all night with an allowance of about 550
calories a day is hell. Plus I am in the toxin-release phase of the
cleanse so this may be a rougher time for me that the first half. My eyes were
burning and I can smell any scent no matter how small. Sometimes I get a whiff
of staleness and I wonder if it is me??? The book said I may smell funny during
this stage! Oh my God!! I have never stunk before! How traumatic!
Well, we're going rollerblading so time to go get ready!
feel inspired to keep this healthy thing going. And as most of you in the last
year, I don't even move from my desk. hence my hike in fat percentage. Well I am
hoping and praying that within the three more days (counting orange juice-only
day 11) that I will continue to drop the fat. Although I am not looking forwarding
to gaining half of my water weight back. NOT AT ALL. I have a slow metabolism
and I always have edema it seems. I will keep drinking water with lemon (60 oz.
at first) so that I keep myself hydrated so I don't retain the water. I think
that has always been my problem. I NEVER drank any fluid. I mean MAYBE a glass a
day, depending -- so my body hung on to every drop of it. Meanwhile I had kidney
problems. Oh well, off to rollerblade!
04/25/01 - Day 9
Same old, same old -- gross nasty toxins starting to come out now. I am sure
you wanted to hear that. Looking good though LOL!! Gosh I'd hate to gain half of
Tomorrow is my last day and I spoke with my friend, Julie,
who does this twice a year and she said that since I am starting to pass toxin
solids now that I need to stay on until I just have mucous only. I think I will
do it a few more days even if it means no getting noodles with Deb in Chinatown
on April 30th
04/26/01 - Day 10
Marc ate in front of me last night and I was fine -- I mean the burrito
smelled good and all but I had no desire to eat it. It seemed too unpure. I have
some strange form of comfort in my "emonade and don't want to get
off of it yet. I can't explain it. I will probably stay on no more than 3 more
days. Unless I am clean before then. Feeling better than I ever have
in my entire life.
Oh my tongue is healed and barely coated anymore!
close to be practically toxin-free, I suppose.
For you girls: I started my period on time and even
though I should have had more cravings and water retention than I did -- I am
thinner than normal for this time of the month. Maybe if you girls do the
cleanse you should wait until AFTER your period. That way you aren't plagued by
weird cravings for chocolate covered pretzels or donuts and you aren't full of
hormone induced water retention.
04/27/01 - Day 11 Still Going Strong
I spoke with my mom today, I really want her to try the cleanse she is
having much edema and some digestive problems as well as health problems, I
think it is worth a try for her. I want to help her so badly. I think she would
I drank that damned tea again so I am waiting for it to
force me into the throes of utter pain and suffering, shortly. At least I know
it is doing what it promised it would do. The cleanse, that is -- well heck! the
Night: I don't even want to think about the toxins that
are being purged now. One word. Eeeeww. I mean, what IS this
04/28/01 - Day 12 Still Going...
My tongue is completely pink again -- no BS. I can't believe this! Here I thought
it was the sweet/sourness like an amaretto sour but it WAS the whole toxin
thing. I am still a little messed up in the tummy after the tea but at
least I can wait all night until I wake up. I hate waking up in the middle of
the night. It wakes the both of us up and well who the hell wants to wake up at
4 am and then it takes15 minutes to warm back up once you get back in bed.
tip: Put your feet on your spouse, it works wonders. If you have to
get up -- so should they!
Tomorrow is my last day -- Marc made Fish &
Chips (Hungry Man) dinner tonight and the fish smelled good. It smelled like
that cheap breaded fish from Long John Silver's that is so ghetto, but oh so
delicioso! Hey don't take your eating habits for granted -- I haven't eaten in 12
days!!! The thought of meat doesn't appeal to me but that vegetable broth sounds
reeeeeal good about right now.
04/29/01 - Day 13 And Going....
Well today is the last day!! I kind of feel good about it, but I am conflicted.
- Don't want to gain weight back. I know this wasn't my
reason to do this -- my kidneys were the reason - but the weight thing was a
- I want to all kinds of things like artichokes with mayo
and Thai beef and broccoli with rice noodles and Pad Thai . God, I miss that.
- I miss my honey mustard pretzels and know I can't have
it. I am a carboholic -- help.
- I am conflicted because no meat really sounds good to
me except for that rice noodle dish -- I don't have to eat the beef, but the
gravy is very yummy!
- I want to stay healthier than I was.
- I want to stay hydrated.
- I want to stay this thin, although a little more lean
would be nice.
- I don't want my gout to come back nor my kidney probs.
- I miss my favorite foods - like wheat thins with egg
salad and pasta dishes (I know I know -- fattening).
- I hope I still have my energy that I have while on the
- I will not eat honey again, unless I have to.
Syrup is where it's at -- that stuff ROCKS!
All in all I am a little freaked out about starting but my
friend said she gets that way too and not to become depressed when I gain the
weight back because the important thing is that I am healthier. Yeah?
Night: Okay, I am starting to crave real food, now.
I don't care what that book says about your protein being nitrogen, oxygen, etc.
Whatever! I want M-E-A-T. Or at least some peanut butter, boiled eggs or beans. SOME
PROTEIN!!! Marc ate Cheddarwurst tonight with Top Ramen. Leave it to a man to
cook a gourmet meal, huh? Now don't get me wrong, Cheddarwurst rocks! but Top
Ramen, I'd sooner stay on the Master Cleanse for another 2 weeks before I'd
touch that stuff. I lived off that junk in college and I don't care what you add
to it or mask it with -- I can't even stand the smell of it.
Tomorrow is orange juice day. I sent Marc to the store
this afternoon for orange juice but I wanted organic because there were so many
preservatives in the best one available at Safeway. I don't think it's a good
idea coming off the cleanse going straight to processed foods. So I will drink
lemonade (without cayenne) for breakfast tomorrow until I get to Trader Joe's
for organic OJ.
Also, I will take photos tomorrow and today I took measurements:
- 36" chest
- 24" waist
- 35.5" hips
I was this size in my early and mid twenties and then shot
up over the last year about an inch or so and about 10 lbs. I need to weigh myself
tomorrow morning at Dr. Romano's office. I know I never do that but I MUST.
04/30/01 Day 14 - Easing Off of the Master Cleanse or "Hooray for
This is the last day I live off of liquids - I actually took thus after I
got back home -- and if you can believe it, the water weight started coming back
a few hours as I started drinking orange juice. This is with 13 days of
fasting so obviously the thighs are NOT gonna come off -- I need
liposuction. But Marc says since I haven't worked out or exercised in well over
a year and a half I can only have lipo if I work out and it can't come off.
can deal with that.
I had organic orange juice for breakfast and lunch while in San Francisco.
and I took BART (Bay Area Regional Transit) to the city. It is like a subway but
nicer. It goes completely under the bay and in and out of mountains and hills.
Marc basically got us off at the second to closet stop which was 1/8 of a mile
(supposedly!) which felt like 5 miles because I had to walk uphill the
entire way in heeled boots. hello!
We went grocery shopping on the way home for my soup
tomorrow and we got all fresh veggies and some canned beans. I cannot wait to
cook -- I miss it. I also got regular store-bought OJ that said from
concentrate but 100% OJ. We'll see.
The Minute Maid OJ gives me headaches -- I think it has too
much sugar. It is too sweet for me. I drank THE TEA tonight for one last go!
05/01/01 Day 15 - Easing Off of the Master
Cleanse or "More O.J. and fresh vegetable broth - oh joy."
The Minute Maid OJ DOES give me a headache unless I water it down (1/2 and
I made soup today and here is my recipe. It's bland
though; it is supposed to be according to the book. What I wanna know is, ok...
he says, "learn to like the natural flavors of the vegetables" and
add no spices, BUT! Think about it... I HAVE BEEN LIVING OFF OF CAYENNE AND
DRINKING SALT WATER for the last 13 days!! HELLO! Are these not considered
spices?? Give me a break. I think it is BS if you ask me. Hence, I added a
little spice. Not enough to make it taste "good", but tolerable.
Tolerable being the keyword. This is NOT a gourmet soup by
Emeril Legasse, by no means. There is no "BAM!" when you eat this.
4 small-med potatoes (red)
2 small/med onions (yellow)
1/2 cup green onions
4-6 large carrots (chopped)
4-6 large ribs celery (chopped)
1 can whole kernel corn
1 can red kidney beans
1 can white kidney beans
1 can garbanzo beans ( I soaked dried beans the night before)
1 can green beans
4 whole, fresh tomatoes-on-the-vine
5-8 cloves garlic (crushed)
1 tsp. bay leaf
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. basil
1/2 tsp. dill
1/2 tsp. coriander
1 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. Paprika
1/4 tsp. cayenne
1/2 tsp. sea salt
optional: pearl or hulled barley
Stick it all in a pot (except for barley) and cover with
water, cover pot and bring to a boil. Lower to a simmer and cook for about 2
hours or more. You can put the barley in the last hour (last 1 hour for pearl,
last 1 1/2 hour for hulled) or cook it separately -- either way it's good!
I kind of skipped the whole broth part and had some veggies
for lunch (just a few) and then for dinner ate a bowl full of soup with veggies.
I couldn't help it!
I actually couldn't drink much OJ today so I made me some
lemonade like before and I drank it right up, loved the taste. I missed it!
Tomorrow is soup aaaaallllll day - yippee, oh boy. I WANT my artichokes I
bought, with some garlic Dijon mayo!
By the way, I took full body photos (in a bikini ACK!!!!)
even the butt! So you could see where I am at now. I am in no way toned, tan or
taut. I am just thinner than I was 13 days ago, with local deposits of fat that
I need to either work off or get removed if they don't work off. I
haven't worked out in about a year and a half so please, no making fun
I would have posted befores but I never even though I was going to post afters
because I didn't expect to lose weight. PLUS I must admit I would have
been mortified to have the befores up to begin with.
Obviously I need to work out and get
liposuction in the places that simply will not come off (e.g. square butt
syndrome): THE HIPS and thighs and
lower back. *Note my scoliosis, my left hip is higher than my right - yet
my right shoulder is higher than my left.
05/02/01 Day 16 - On My Way to Better Eating, and Living! or
Homemade Vegetable Soup Day"
Okay, I want French fries and other things that are horrible for me. I don't
care what that book says, you DO crave stuff that isn't good for you afterwards.
At least I do. My vegetable soup isn't the most lively dish especially since how
I cook, I cook for it to taste damn good -- not bland like this soup. I mean, yeah
all of the spices are there, but no meat!! Fat and meat makes flavor -- period.
I do NOT like orange juice unless it is cut in half with
spring water and my water must have lemon in it or I don't drink it. I actually
made a glass of the lemonade yesterday because I CRAVED it.
I am getting water weight back. BUT! I have less mass than
before I ever started so, what the heck!
05/03/01 Day 17 - Soup Is Boring.
I ate salad and Marc gave me a NutterButter which was nasty. I figured I'd be
ecstatic. It tasted fake. Not that I have a problem with THAT or
But as a food it just
was not very satisfying. Then again neither was the soup. I am craving maple syrup
and lemonade, can you believe it??
05/04/01 Day 18 - Getting Back to Business
I had Tuna salad with non fat mayo (oh yeah, THAT mayo is good for you. *sarcasm* ) for lunch.
grams of fat and 10 calories per tablespoons. I truly wonder just what is in
this stuff. For dinner, I had 3 steamed artichokes with Fat free Mayo and Dijon.
Oh and we made some homemade guacamole!!! Unfortunately the corn chips had added
salt so that was kind of harsh. But all in all it was pretty grubbin'!!!
Oh I tried one bite of a Cheddarwurst that Marc saved for
me. 34 grams of fat and an obscene amount of calories. I could scarcely get that
one bite down. It is THE oiliest, most rich and nastiest food on the face of the
earth. I remember really liking these things. Now it's disgusting.
Oh and if you must know, the bowels are working fine, LOL!
But different -- don't ask. This is disgusting to talk about. *wooosh*
05/05/01 Day 19 - Still not liking my old foods.
I ate egg salad with fat free mayo, sea salt and cracked pepper on wheat thins
*bad* Wheat thins are so high in calories and fat. And oh so salty --
eeew. I had
a little homemade dashi broth with somen (Japanese) which was gross too. And I
tried a bite of a pickle and that was really nasty. What am I going to do now???
I am *CRAVING* cantaloupe and honey dew. Also any type of
fruit is really appealing to me. I just don't seem to want meat like I thought I
did once I got those 4 types of beans in my veggie soup. But I really think it
was actually psychological because when I did try the meat it was nasty to me.
But I have no more cravings for meat, sugar, etc. I just want fruit and veggies
UPDATE! 05/18/01 - Full Fledged vegetarian-lacto-ovo
Just thought I'd let you all know that I no longer drink milk or eat meat,
most dairy products or any refined or processed foods. I still eat eggs and I
will continue to, I like them
I eat veggie cheese but I occasionally have a
piece of real cheese so that is why I am still considered lacto
( dairy)-ovo (egg).
I kept trying to eat new Zealand green mussels (I bought a
pack on sale before teh cleanse) but my stomach HATED it. I don't find it appealing to the taste
buds either. I ate a bit of Marc's steak and it was just so NASTY and rich and
tasted just "yucky."
My typical day:
- breakfast: either fresh fruit with rice milk and
a little maple syrup or some raisin bran with extra raisins with rice milk.
(The raisin bran is high in carbs and fattening though)
- lunch: depends, usually either stir fried
vegetables, egg salad on twelve grain or multigrain crackers (still breads are fattening too, but if you are going to eat them, eat
- dinner: either vegetables like artichokes,
asparagus (but not much I am afraid of gout reoccurring), LOTS of bean
sprouts, mushrooms, peppers, or black bean burgers with provolone-flavored
veggie cheese (not for the squeamish), eggplant with bamboo, chili peppers,
cilantro and coconut milk) -- things like that.
And the boyfriend? Still eating HungryMan TV dinners,
cokes, cookies, candy and stuff like that. He said he may do the cleanse with
me when I do it again in 6 months. He can't stomach the lemonade
well so he receives no energy and craves food and sugar too badly. I hope he
tries next time.
Bad habits? GUACAMOLE!!! and soy sauce.
biggest downfalls. My fat free Mayo I am sure is not *good* for me, but it has
only 10 cals and ZERO fat per tablespoon! You can't beat that! Take a peek
at the label on your Hellmann's mayonnaise jar.
The soy sauce I eat with my stir fried veggies and I LOVE
it I mean I can drink the remainder when it's mixed with the veggie juice.
only a itty bitty tbsp. has 36% of your sodium for the entire day! ACK!!
The Avocados, I went hog-wild - literally. I must have
eaten guac for over a week and a half straight. Sure it's the *good* fat (mono
but fat is fat is fat when you don't move from your desk like me. In
moderation it is a great thing to eat but if you don't work it off it can make
Conclusion: Does It Work?
Well, my body doesn't crave sugar, or meat or fats anymore -
"other" things are different too. Although I will ONLY tell that to
the people who contact me and are really interested in the cleanse. It's a
disgusting subject and there is no need to embarrass myself more than I have!
I mean, I feel healthier
and I have no complaints as far as my kidneys are better (no pain), my
gout is gone, I have no stomach problems, I lost fat, I don't crave sweets or
salts or anything bad anymore, nothing. So yeah, I guess it did work.
Warnings, Contraindications & Helpful Tips
You should fully read the book, either online or in print. There are special
needs for diabetics as well as hypo/hyperglycemic persons. I do know that the
book claims that the cleanse can help your body heal itself and that Orthodox
medicine will not but I think that he may be an extremist and do not agree with
him on several things. Just use your best judgment. I suggest asking your
primary care physician as well before even considering any type of change in
diet or undergoing a cleanse.
I do have some warnings though as far as what is related
to the cleanse itself and to make it more comfortable for you:
- If you have saline wash in the morning, stay
near a bathroom for at least an hour or so afterwards until you are quite
finished. You will regret it
- If you drink the tea in the morning, stay by a
bathroom for a few hours, not just one. You may need it all day. This is no
- This next one is GROSS and although I do NOT know it by
experience, two friends report this: If you feel that you have the need to
flatulate after having drank the tea or the saline wash, DON'T. Because it's
not gas! Isn't that disgusting?? I don't even wanna know how they found this
- Use Organic Grade B Maple Syrup - It is the
best. I found all that I needed at Trader Joe's, a popular
gourmet store in California.
- Buy a lemon/citrus juicer - I bought the hand
one that you put over a container. A few bucks that squeezed out more juice
with less effort. And USE THE PULP!
- You can make your "lemonade" ahead of time
but don't make more than 3 days worth at a time. It is best to have it
- Pre-measure your daily quota! It will keep you
from drinking too little at first and too much towards the middle and end.
You WILL start to crave it.
- Keep a journal. It will let you know your
progress and you can even jot down your measurements and weight data for
reference. Then you can even donate your journal to the site!!
- Take photos as well, or you will *regret* it like
- You may get a cold - expect it and prepare for
it mentally but just keep going, it doesn't usually last long. Most people
do not experience this but I experienced a sore throat for two days (day 2
& 3) and the 4th morning a swollen gland on the right side -- which
ALWAYS is the one that flares up.
- EASE OFF THE CLEANSE! Eating that Big Mac or
Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande could really hurt you!
- Don't be upset when you gain half of your weight
back. You are supposed to. Sucks doesn't it? You will gain back more if
you jump into eating junk food and McDonald's or Taco Hell. Remember to
watch your saturated fat intake and caloric intake. Just be sure to watch
that refined sugar and carbohydrate intake or you will balloon. Salt will
make you retain water. Y ou usually have enough salt in your diet without
adding extra table salt.
- Try and eat healthier once you are off the cleanse.
You have a fresh start, now. Take advantage of it. If not for the health
reasons for the aesthetic reasons - try "Somersizing!"
- This is NOT a diet! Remember that! If you want
to lose weight. As I said -- Somersizing ROCKS!
I tried the cleanse a gain a few months ago for the wrong
reasons -- I wanted to lose a fast 10 lbs. Well it didn't work, within 4
days my body went immediately into the mucous stage -- I was STARVING to death
(well not really but I felt like it). I stopped on the fifth day because I realized I was doing
the wrong reasons and I was not benefiting because I was in fact already
I have since started eating very well and am no longer ovo
lacto. I am "Somersizing" now. I lost 10 lb. in a little over two weeks and
have since kept it off - my goal is 10 more. I am also eating more than I ever have in my life. So far
so good - out of anything I could ever recommend, Somersizing would be it.
I am starting a journal so if you'd like to read it please click
here. I had to start Somersiz8ing because since the cleanse I had
reverted back to my old ways and had gained about 15 lbs within a
year. (20 altogether in the last few years but 15 since the cleanse). I
started working nonstop in my desk and getting NO exercise and eating carbs like
mad, Well, NO LONGER! I stopped eating so many darn carbs and I eat NO sugar if
I can help it, That means no foods with sugar in it. Not even
catsup unless it is sugar free. If you look on the label and it says more
than 2 grams if sugar -- I don't eat it.
Anyway -- I have about 6 more lb. to go or so
and I will be a happy girl. Somersizing and Tae Bo got my body back
without endless hours at the gym and no calorie counting. Try it and I
promise you if you stick to it you will tone and you will lose fat. I have lost about
16 lbs. so far and at least 2 1/2 inches on my hips, bust and waist. I
didn't take thigh measurements before so I don't know what I lost there. All I
know is I have dropped two sizes and I feel and look so much better.
I started working a lot and went back up to about
131 lb -- so I started Atkins. Atkins really messed my system, up. I
do not recommend it if you have a deficient renal system. I now have
gallbladder problems that started about a month and a half into Atkins and had
kidney problems during it. Too much protein/fat for my body. Atkins
even warns against the diet for those with bad kidneys. Oops.
So! I started Body For Life (BFL) after the
suggestion by a few friends. I am toning up and only lost a few lb
but I feel good and I don't have to follow some weird diet. I have to be
sure to eat 5 meals a day, drink a lot of water, exercise regularly and I get a
free day each week. It's normal, it isn't trendy and it works. I
must say though it is basically common sense eating and exerciser with a lot of
hype and you can win prizes if you enter the challenge so I guess that is the appeal.
Realistic, short term goals help too! Instead of "I am on a diet
forever," you think "12 weeks! I can do it!"
Update: October 8, 2005
I absolutely do not recommend Atkins or super low carb. if you low car,
you will fail because it is impossible to stay on, not to mention is not
healthy. You NEED carbs, plain and simple. Moderation is key and
good carb are best, a high fat diet is not good for you. Food combining
does work but it also can be difficult to stay on. I think it is fine for
short term and to jump start your system but it is not a way to eat every
day. The point is, eat HEALTHY and take in as many (to stay at your
present body condition) or less calories than you burn to lose body fat.
GAIN MUSCLE. Dieting only will increase your body fat percentage
and you will gain "weight" a lot faster. Muscle mass and a
healthy diet is the only way to keep healthy, looking, slim and being tone for
long term. You will gain weight with muscle tone but it will be better in the
end, I promise you. End of story.
p.s. Cheat every once in a while or you will
fail, you can't deprive yourself for long without expecting to just binge or
worse, give up a healthy way of eating. Moderation and reward.
Conclusion: Does It Work?
Well, my body doesn't crave sugar, or meat or fats anymore -
"other" things are different too. Although I will ONLY tell that
to the people who contact me and are really interested in the
cleanse. It's a disgusting subject and there is no need to
embarrass myself more than I have!
I mean, I feel
healthier and I have no complaints as far as my kidneys are
better (no pain), my gout is gone, I have no stomach problems, I
lost fat, I don't crave sweets or salts or anything bad anymore,
nothing. So yeah, I guess it did work.
Warnings, Contraindications & Helpful Tips
You should fully read the book, either online or in print.
There are special needs for diabetics as well as
hypo/hyperglycemic persons. I do know that the book claims that
the cleanse can help your body heal itself and that Orthodox
medicine will not but I think that he may be an extremist and do
not agree with him on several things. Just use your best
judgment. I suggest asking your primary care physician as well
before even considering any type of change in diet or undergoing
I do have some warnings though as far as
what is related to the cleanse itself and to make it more
comfortable for you:
- If you have saline wash in the
morning, stay near a bathroom for at least an hour or so
afterwards until you are quite finished. You will regret it
- If you drink the tea in the morning,
stay by a bathroom for a few hours, not just one. You may
need it all day. This is no joke!
- This next one is GROSS and although I
do NOT know it by experience, two friends report this: If you
feel that you have the need to flatulate after having drank
the tea or the saline wash, DON'T. Because it's not gas!
Isn't that disgusting?? I don't even wanna know how they
found this out. ICK!
- Use Organic Grade B Maple Syrup
- It is the best. I found all that I needed at Trader
Joe's, a popular gourmet store in California.
- Buy a lemon/citrus juicer - I
bought the hand one that you put over a container. A few
bucks that squeezed out more juice with less effort. And USE
- You can make your "lemonade" ahead
of time but don't make more than 3 days worth at a time.
It is best to have it fresh.
- Pre-measure your daily quota! It
will keep you from drinking too little at first and too much
towards the middle and end. You WILL start to crave it.
- Keep a journal. It will let you
know your progress and you can even jot down your measurements
and weight data for reference. Then you can even donate your
journal to the site!!
- Take photos as well, or you will
*regret* it like I did.
- You may get a cold - expect it
and prepare for it mentally but just keep going, it doesn't
usually last long. Most people do not experience this but I
experienced a sore throat for two days (day 2 & 3) and the 4th
morning a swollen gland on the right side -- which ALWAYS is
the one that flares up.
- EASE OFF THE CLEANSE! Eating
that Big Mac or Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande could really hurt
- Don't be upset when you gain half of
your weight back. You are supposed to. Sucks doesn't it?
You will gain back more if you jump into eating junk food and
McDonald's or Taco Hell. Remember to watch your saturated fat
intake and caloric intake. Just be sure to watch that refined
sugar and carbohydrate intake or you will balloon. Salt will
make you retain water. You usually have enough salt in your
diet without adding extra table salt.
- Try and eat healthier once you are
off the cleanse. You have a fresh start, now. Take
advantage of it. If not for the health reasons for the
aesthetic reasons - try "Somersizing!"
- This is NOT a diet! Remember
that! If you want to lose weight. As I said -- Somersizing
I tried the cleanse a gain a few months
ago for the wrong reasons -- I wanted to lose a fast 10 lbs.
Well it didn't work, within 4 days my body went immediately into
the mucous stage -- I was STARVING to death (well not really but
I felt like it). I stopped on the fifth day because I realized
I was doing it for the wrong reasons and I was not benefiting
because I was in fact already "clean."
I have since started eating very well and
am no longer ovo lacto. I am "Somersizing" now. I lost 10 lb.
in a little over two weeks and have since kept it off - my goal
is 10 more. I am also eating more than I ever have in my life.
So far so good - out of anything I could ever recommend,
Somersizing would be it. I am starting a journal so if you'd
like to read it please
click here. I had to start Somersiz8ing because since the
cleanse I had reverted back to my old ways and had gained about
15 lbs within a year. (20 altogether in the last few years but
15 since the cleanse). I started working nonstop in my desk and
getting NO exercise and eating carbs like mad, Well, NO LONGER!
I stopped eating so many darn carbs and I eat NO sugar if I can
help it, That means no foods with sugar in it. Not even
catsup unless it is sugar free. If you look on the label and it
says more than 2 grams if sugar -- I don't eat it.
Anyway -- I have about 6 more lb. to go or
so and I will be a happy girl. Somersizing and Tae Bo got my
body back without endless hours at the gym and no calorie
counting. Try it and I promise you if you stick to it you will
tone and you will lose fat. I have lost about 16 lbs. so far
and at least 2 1/2 inches on my hips, bust and waist. I didn't
take thigh measurements before so I don't know what I lost
there. All I know is I have dropped two sizes and I feel and
look so much better.